


A Port in the Storm

by Ilearnedtoreadforthis



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bisexual Tony Stark, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, Insecure Steve Rogers, Insecure Tony Stark, M/M, Mutual Pining, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, so does tony, they both get one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26327410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilearnedtoreadforthis/pseuds/Ilearnedtoreadforthis
Summary: Soulmarks are a gift given to us from the gods on Asgard according to Thor.  But when Tony sees his mark on Steve, he doesn't see it as a gift, but rather a burden that Steve would have to bear.  He knows he can't hide this forever, but he can try.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 13
Kudos: 282





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Polski available: [Port w czasie sztormu](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27893959) by [Pacynka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pacynka/pseuds/Pacynka)



The Battle of New York forced a team together, but three months of living together started a weird little family. When the battle ended and Loki was taken back to Asgard to face his punishment, Steve decided to take a road trip to see America. He decided the best way to learn about this new world he was in was to see it up close. But the remainder of the team, Natasha, Clint, Thor and even Bruce (after being persuaded by Tony to stay with the lure of endless funds to complete any research he wanted) moved into Stark Tower at Tony’s invitation. 

If Tony remembers correctly, and he is sure that he is, he asked them on a Wednesday afternoon after a meeting at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. That afternoon he went down to his lab to work on an upgrade to the boosters in the Ironman suit. On Friday morning when he emerged from the lab, satisfied with his progress, he found the four other Avengers gathered around the kitchen table sharing breakfast. Even though on most days, they would all pass each other at sometime during the breakfast time, Friday was the day they went from dry cereal or poptarts to waffles, pastries and such with everyone taking part in the process. They would spend all morning eating, talking, and getting to know each other.

Next came the Tuesday Night Team Movie. It started with Tony showing Thor the movie Point Break. Thor was still confused by the reference Tony used to address him. After the movie, Thor was unamused by the nickname but decided the camaraderie developed as they watched the movie was well worth it. Next was Lord of the Rings and Hunger Games and before you knew it, another team building event was established.

The most recent ritual instituted was No Date Saturday. The first Saturday night after Pepper and Tony broke up, Tony needed a distraction. He rounded up everyone in the tower that night and took them out to dinner. From that week on, they had a standing reservation every Saturday at that Italian restaurant for anyone without plans that night.

“Did you hear about Sharon?” Tony hears Natasha say to Bruce one Friday morning when he is walking into the kitchen to help with breakfast.

“Aunt Peggy’s niece Sharon?” Tony interjects.

Natasha turns and sees Tony walking in, “Yeah, did you hear?”

“Hear what? About who?” Now Clint is entering the kitchen.

“Sharon Carter,” Natasha says. “Her soulmark is visible.”

“Whose soulmark is visible?” Thor questions, trying to catch up in the conversation as he enters the room.

Four heads turn to see Thor and all speak at the same time, “Sharon Carter.”

Soulmark reveals are big news. It’s like someone winning big in the lottery. You hear about it all the time, but chances are it’s not going to happen to you. Not everyone has a soulmark after all. They are reserved for only the highest form of love and not all love is that pure. And since soulmarks are invisible to everyone but your soulmate, you are unaware of even having one until your soulmate sees your mark. Then and only then will your mark become visible to everyone else. 

Thor quickly says, “Ah, good fortune has found Lady Carter. That is wonderful news!”

Tony finishes pouring the cup of coffee and scoffs, “If you believe in that sort of thing, I guess.” 

“It is not a question of believing or not believing, my friend. I have known Freyr since I was a boy. He would leave our realm regularly to go in search of the great loves here on Midgard. Once he finds them, he melds their souls and disperses half to each partner so they may find each other for eternity. It is unfortunate that we do not have such a gift on Asgard.”

“Gift?” Tony laughs. “How I see it, it's just another way for me to feel inadequate.” 

“I don’t under-” Thor starts but is interrupted by Steve walking into the kitchen.

“Hey, Steve,” Natasha says. “You're just in time for breakfast. How was your trip?”

“Hi, Nat. Guys,” Steve acknowledges the group. “The trip was interesting, that’s for sure. And very eye opening. I mean if someone can tell me why there is a large ball of twine in Kansas or why there is a Museum in Wisconsin dedicated to mustard, I’d be happy to listen.”

“Did you go to the International Banana Museum in California?” Clint questions. “I hear it’s appealing. Get it? Bananas have peels?” Clint proceeds to laugh at his own joke.

Nat smacks Clint upside the head, “We talked about the puns. If you have to explain them, they are not funny.”

“So Cap, are you here to stay?” Tony asks.

“If there’s still a room for me. I think I’ve seen my fill of America for now.”

“Your quarters have been ready for you since I extended the invitation. You can move in anytime,” Tony explains. 

“Thanks, Tony. I really appreciate the invite.” Steve looks around the table at the rest of the Avengers. “So what’s been going on here?”

Nat chimes in first, “Sharon Carter has her soulmark.”

“Really?” Steve says in astonishment.

“Don’t tell me you are one of those in wonder of the soulmark, Rogers.” Tony shakes his head.

Steve’s eyebrows turn in, “Of course. Aren’t you?”

“Nope.” Tony turns to Natasha, “Does Sharon know who her soulmate is?”

Nat looks at Tony like he has grown another head. “Of course she does. Who would see their mark on someone and walk away from it?”

“Hey don’t give me that look. I can just imagine if someone saw their mark on me. Let’s see an alcoholic, a workaholic, and probably five different -holics in here. Who would want to link their life to this? Plus you didn’t hear what Point Break just said - if I had a soulmate, this other person is coming in with part of my soul mixed with theirs. Two fucked up people coming together, that’s all sorts of wrong.”

“But Tony,” Steve replies, “Did you ever think that you have so many vices because you are missing part of yourself?”

“Steven is correct, Tony. Your mate would complete you, be your port in a storm so to speak.” Thor explains. 

Tony shakes his head, “There isn’t a port big enough for this storm.”

Bruce decides this has gone on long enough, “Statistically speaking, it's probably a moot point anyway. Your chances are a billion to one against.”

Tony starts to laugh, “And God knows that I’ve seen my fair share of naked bodies to eliminate most of Manhattan and part of L.A., so I’m pretty sure I’m safe.”

“Tony, get your ass over here and start making omelettes. Everything else is almost ready,” Nat says.

“On it. Everybody getting their regular? What about you Cap?”

“You don’t have to make me one,” Steve says.

“Nonsense, this is a Friday morning tradition here at Chéz Stark. Omelettes made to order. What’ll you have?”

“A western omelette would be great. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Free pass this week, but bring your A game next week and dazzle us with your favorite breakfast dish. Now with you and Thor, we will need to increase our breakfast fare substantially.”

For the next few hours, the team eats and listens to stories of Steve’s trip around the U.S. As they are cleaning up the rest of the dishes, Steve turns to Tony. 

“Hey Tony, do you think you could take a look at my bike sometime? Somewhere around Iowa it started to have issues starting up and would rev up and hang at high idle.”

“Sounds like the carburetor.”

Steve’s face crinkled up, “That’s what I thought, but I respect my bike too much to let me work on it.”

“Not a problem, Cap. I can take a look at it tomorrow for you. I can have it ready for you in time for No Date Saturday.”

Steve takes a deep breath and gets that questioning look again, “What is No Date Saturday?” 

Tony laughs and puts his arm around Steve as they start walking out of the kitchen “Let me fill you in on your new schedule.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Definitely the carburetor, Cap.” Tony has pieces of Steve’s bike’s engine in an organized mess all over the floor. 

“How bad is it?” Steve is sitting on the floor of Tony’s garage next to the bike pieces.

Steve looks over at Tony. Tony was dressed in jeans with a black tank top which allowed the arc reactor to shine through the material. Tony's olive skin and toned arms were highlighted by the black shirt and the jeans were snug over his firm round ass. As an artist, Steve could appreciate a beautiful body and in his opinion, Tony's was definitely one to appreciate.

“Nothing that a little TLC can’t handle. As long as I have everything pulled apart, I might as well clean everything else up in here though. What the hell were you driving through?” Tony asked as he was picking out debris from other parts of the bike.

“Do you know how boring some of those stretches of highway are in Nebraska? Sometimes I may have gone off the beaten path for a little excitement.”

Tony rolled his eyes at Steve, “One does not take a classic beauty like this off the beaten path. If you want to go joy riding, let me know and I can get you something made for your excitement. This, this is for Sunday driving as they say. A machine to be pampered.”

“I apologize for my indiscretion,” Steve chuckled. “I think it will be awhile before I take another road trip like that though.”

“Too much America for Captain America?”

“Too much America for Steve Rogers.” Steve corrects. “Life used to be so simple. People used to talk to one another. Now, everywhere you go, people have their face buried in a phone. Do you know how many people I had an actual conversation with while I was gone that went beyond a simple hello?

Tony shook his head.

“Three, Tony. Three in three months. And one of them I don’t think counts because half way through it, the man looked at me cross-eyed and tapped his ear and walked away. How was I supposed to know he was on the phone?”

Tony put his head down and started to laugh.

“It's not funny. Don’t people talk anymore?”

“What do you think we are doing here, sweet cheeks?”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“I know. I know. But social media is the new way to connect, boomer. Well, technically, I think you are a pre-boomer, but close enough.”

Steve sighs, “I don’t even want to know what that means.”

“Oh young Jedi, much to learn you have.” Tony says using his best Yoda voice.

“I am going to assume that is yet another reference that I am missing?”

Tony shakes his head, “This is too easy.”

“‘I’m glad you’re having fun at my expense, Tony.”

“Sorry Capsicle, but I can’t help myself. Tell you what. After No Date Saturday tonight, if you want, I’ll walk you through some of the finer points of getting you online. It will help you catch up. I mean, unless you have plans for tonight.”

“I’ve only been in town for 24 hours. I don’t think I have a date set up quite yet.”

“Well then,” Tony sits up tall and looks Steve straight on, “Consider me your personal guide to the evening. Maybe the paps can get our pic and we can go viral.”

Steve puts his head down, “Does anyone speak English anymore?”

Tony glances at his watch and sees it's almost 5:30 pm. "Looks like we'll need to finish this project up tomorrow. Our dinner is at seven and I'm a mess."

"I'd really like it if you'd show me how to do some of these repairs myself. If you have the time."

Tony's eyes go big and Steve can almost see an idea pop into Tony's head. "We can start a new ritual. How about Motorcycle Monday or Transmission Tuesday?"

"What's with all the theme days? Tuesday is movie night, tonight's dinner-"

Tony's face gets a bit serious. "I have learned that routine is my friend. You haven't been around me long enough to know that if left to my own devices, I have a tendency to go off the rails so to speak. There's been more than one occasion where after Tuesday Night Team Movie, no one sees me again until Friday Morning Breakfast, or between No Date Saturday and Tuesday Night Team Movie. But if I can have pockets of focus, it's better for everyone, especially me.

"And contrary to popular belief I am very good about keeping my appointments. I may not always be punctual, but I get there eventually. But if you'll notice I'm always on time for the ones that involve food." 

"Well if the way you ate at breakfast yesterday is any indication, I think we'll need to establish something like Workout Wednesdays." Steve chuckles as he pets his own stomach.

Tony winks at Steve, "Don't you worry about that hot stuff, I have several other vices to take care of my exercise needs."

"Okay, well, Motorcycle Monday it is." 

“Great.” Tony finishes wiping off the last wrench he used and sets it on his toolbox. He starts to walk out of the room and slaps Steve on his shoulder, "Meet you in about an hour in the common room."

Steve nods, but in the back of his head he can't stop thinking about those other vices that Tony was talking about.

An hour later, Steve walks into the common room, dressed in gray slacks and a blue shirt and sees only Tony standing in the middle of the room dressed in a dark grey suit with a red silk tie. He raises his hands and questions, "Where's everyone else?"

"Looks like it's just you and me, Cap. Natasha and Clint are doing a night training op with the S.H.I.E.L.D. recruits, Thor is with Jane, and Bruce is a keynote speaker at some fundraiser.

"Lucky for me that you decided to come back when you did otherwise No Date Saturday would truly live up to it's name. Let's go. Happy is downstairs."

After they order their drinks at the restaurant, Steve continues the conversation that they started in the car ride over. "So the pound sign is now called a hashtag?"

"Afraid so."

"And a hashtag is used to identify or label a tweet. And a tweet is a message you send out on Twitter. And Twitter is one of the thousand new social media applications out there that I don’t know how to use." Steve breathes deeply.

Tony raises his glass to Steve, "Congratulations. “You now speak 21st century."

"Great," sarcasm drips from Steve's voice, "I'm not even sure if any of those were complete sentences."

"Next you'll be telling kids to get off your lawn." Tony said with a smirk. "You'll get the hang of it."

"Yeah, I know. It just gets frustrating how much has changed. I mean, I opened the door for a woman a few days ago and she actually yelled at me. I mean, looked me straight in the face, and told me I was being chauvinistic.” 

Steve shook his head, "When did common courtesy become chauvinistic? I hold the door for men, too. What am I supposed to do? Let the door go, and hit them in the face?"

“Haven’t you heard? Chivalry is dead anyway.” Tony mocks.

“But should it be?” Steve looks up and sees the waiter approach.

“Did you decide on your order?” The brunet waiter asked.

Steve smiles, “Can I please have the Chicken Caprese.”

“And I’ll take the Chicken Scaloppine.” Tony quickly follows.

“Thank you gentleman. Is there anything else I can get you right now? Perhaps an appetizer?” 

“No, no thank you.” Steve smiles and watches the waiter walk away.

“So, you like the view there, huh, Cap?” Tony’s eyes track between the waiter and Steve’s face.

Steve is taken aback. “What? No.”

“Hey, it’s okay, Rogers. That’s one of the perks of the 21st century. Not only can men look at each other, they can touch, too. I know I like the soft side of a woman but I can also appreciate the thrill of big strapping hands on me.” 

Steve shakes his head, “No, Tony, that’s not it. Yes, he is a nice looking guy, but he just reminded me of someone I used to know.”

“Oh?” Tony was intrigued.

Steve starts to blush, “Not that way.” Steve paused questioning whether or not if he was revealing too much. It was a new age and time, time to embrace a new life, he decided. “Unfortunately.”

“Oh?” Tony says again.

“Like you said, it was not acceptable then. But I too, can appreciate what both sexes have to offer.”

Tony eyebrows shoot up, “So go for it, Cap. He’s hot, you're hot. Sounds like a match made in heaven to me, at least for the night.”

“Not really my style, Tony.”

“So who was this mystery man from your past then? Was it Barnes?”

Steve couldn’t hide his surprise at that question. “Bucky? Why would you say that?”

Tony’s hands went up slightly in defense, “I didn’t mean to offend you. Stories of you and Barnes are legendary, especially how close you two were. Knowing what I know now, well - but I guess I made an incorrect assumption.”

“I’m not offended. I’m just surprised. I’ve never seen Bucky as anything more than a brother. The man I was referring to was a model in one of my art classes. We had a couple weeks of class that was drawing facial expressions and he was our subject.”

“Ah, hoping to get a little homework assignment there, Cap? Or maybe some extra credit?” Tony jokes.

“You are incorrigible.” Steve laughs.

“I do my best.”


	3. Chapter 3

“J, tell Rogers to meet me in the lab today for Motorcycle Monday, would you?” Tony requests.

“Of course, sir.” JARVIS states. “Message relayed.”

“Thanks, J."

“Captain Rogers asked me to inform you that he will be down shortly.”

“Got it, thank you.”

A few minutes later, Steve walks through the doors of the lab, carrying a box of donuts. His mouth drops open as he looks around. “This is amazing Tony.”

“Is this your first time down here?” Tony asks.

“Yeah, whoa, who is this?” Steve jumps back a little bit as DUM-E rolls over to him.

“That is DUM-E, my first AI. He’s harmless. Most of the time.”

Steve pats what he would consider the robot’s head, “Hello DUM-E.”

“Don’t encourage him too much, or he’ll follow you around like a lost puppy.” Tony redirects his attention from Steve to DUM-E. “DUM-E, why don’t you go clean up that mess over there,” Tony points to the corner and DUM-E rolls away.

“This place reminds me of a science fiction movie I saw once during the war.” Steve continues to walk around the lab, absentmindedly running a finger along some of the equipment. “Would you mind if I came down here every once in a while to sketch the bots and the suits? I really love their lines. Unless it would bother you.”

“Not at all,” Tony says. “Once I am in a zone working, a nuclear bomb could go off and I wouldn’t notice it. So make yourself at home.”

“Thanks Tony. I’m always looking for new things to draw.” Steve starts walking toward the workbench that Tony is standing at. “Um, before we get started, I wanted to apologize for what I said to you on the Helicarrier when we were searching for the tesseract. I was -”

“Stop right there. We both said things we didn’t mean because of that damn septor. It’s water under the bridge, Spangles.” Tony paused, “Are those for me?” Tony points to the box.

Steve nods and smiles, “You said you were on time for meetings with food, so I thought I would establish that right now. Why are we meeting down here anyway? Shouldn’t we be in the garage?”

Tony grabs a donut from the box and takes a quick bite. “As long as we are going to do this, I figured I’d give you the full tutorial on bike maintenance. I have the carburetor here so we can take it apart, clean it and reassemble it together. And as you can see, I have every tool imaginable here at our beck and call. And now we have snacks. We could hold out here for days, so let’s get started.”

***

“So you and Stark seem to be getting close,” Natasha leans in on her arms and takes a sip of her coffee, the last evidence of her breakfast.

“Yeah, he’s taught me a lot about my motorcycle,” Steve replies. 

“Are you sure he’s not trying to teach you something else?” Natasha wiggles her eyebrows.

“Nat, it’s not like that.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. So you two ever spend any time apart anymore? And I’ve seen the way you two look at each other when you think no one is paying attention.” Nat sits back in her chair.

Steve wraps his hands around his coffee mug and stares at it sadly, “I’m sure it's just a crush. I’ll get over it.”

“Why would you want to? He looks at you too, you know.”

“It just seems that it would be awfully complicated. Besides it hasn’t been that long since Pepper.”

Natasha shakes her head, “You’ve been back for over six months now, and they broke up long before that. I think you should talk to him. You two are good together."

“He’s Tony Stark and everything that entails. I’m a nobody from Brooklyn.”

Nat’s voice rises, “You are Captain Fucking America.”

“No, I’m just Steve Rogers.”

“You do that a lot, don’t you?"

“Do what?” 

“You separate Steve Rogers from Captain America. You realize that Captain America is nobody without Steve Rogers. I don’t think you can say that the other way around. Remember that.”

As Steve was about to argue Nat’s point, the alarm to assemble started to blare. 

Simultaneously, his cell phone rang. “Rogers,” he answered.

Steve listened carefully to the individual on the other end of the line. “Got it.”

He taps his phone and looks up at Nat. “There’s a chemical fire down by the docks. They need our help in securing the buildings. Tony is already on his way there. You grab Clint and I got Thor.”

***

As far as emergencies go, this one did not warrant the Avengers, Tony thought. “Hey Cap,” Tony said through the comm link, “I think this is contained, you guys need to get back to the tower and hit the decontamination showers. If any of those chemicals got on your skin, it'll start to burn. I’ll be back shortly, I’m going to have JARVIS take one more scan of the building.”

When Tony arrives back at the tower, he makes his way down to medical to check on the team. He walks into the locker room and sees Steve coming out of the shower room with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

Tony is speechless, but his mind is racing. Holy. Mother. Of God. He has seen plenty of naked men, but the water glistening off of Steve and his perfectly toned abs make Tony's breath catch. Tony was doing his best to remember that this was his  _ friend _ standing in front of him.

Tony and Steve have been spending most of their spare time together. When they weren't working on the bike, Steve could often be found in the lab with Tony. At first, Steve would show up to sketch, but then a true friendship started to develop. 

Tony was the first one Steve would go to if he had a problem. Tony was extremely patient with all his questions, usually giving Steve a hands on demonstration of whatever Steve was confused about. And more often than not, Steve and Tony would be the last to linger at the team breakfast and after team movie night, talking as if they were long lost friends having years to catch up on.

Additionally, Tony found most of Steve's old-timer habits endearing. In fact, a few weeks into Tuesday night movies, Steve had commented about how he missed that they used to play cartoons in front of the main feature. From then on, Tuesday nights always began with a cartoon. Tony even found one of his dad's old movie clips of Captain America and played it before the cartoon, much to Steve's embarrassment. But Tony made sure it got played quite often anyway, because he thoroughly enjoyed seeing Steve portrayed as a hero.

"Hey Tony, is it all taken care of?" Steve says when he notices Tony standing in the locker room.

Tony snaps out of his haze, "Yeah, yeah. Fire was contained and extinguished. I - I was just checking up on the team."

"I sent Nat and Clint through decontamination first. And Thor was never close to any of it, so he was released." Steve says walking by Tony to his locker.

Tony's eyes follow Steve's body as he walks by. Tony's freezes because there it is.

In a split second, Steve's once previously smooth shoulder starts to shine. A pattern forms over the blue light that seems to glow from his back. It starts to take the form of a word. It was as if the word lifts off his back in a three-dimensional fashion. When it comes into focus it says, "my beloved".

Tony's heart both soared and broke at the same time. 

A soulmark. His soulmark.

Steve is the best person he knows. He is kind, loving, and smart. Whenever they are together he feels at ease, calm. Steve is the type of person who deserves nothing but good things in his life and now he could be his...But deep down, he knows that he is not a good thing - not what Steve deserves.

He has been told that by more than one person during his life. His father reminded him of it constantly. Not to mention a long list of ex-lovers. He is not ignorant of his own faults either. He drinks too much, works too much and sleeps around too much. He is not what anyone would want as a soulmate, in this, or any other lifetime.

How could the gods have ever made such a mistake? For someone who deserves the world, how could they burden Steve with someone so broken?

Tony feels as if he had been kicked in the gut. He wants to reach out so badly. To pull Steve into his arms and kiss him, hold him. To stroke his cheek and to gaze into those sky blue eyes forever.

But his brain kicks into overdrive. What kind of life would you be condemning him to? To wake up every morning and see this broken man next to him. Steve deserves better. Let him find someone better.

"What about you Tony?" Steve says.

"Uh, what?" Tony jerks back his eyes grow to the size of saucers. "Me?"

"I asked if you were all right," Steve shoots him a puzzling look.

"Oh. Oh yeah, I'm fine. Fine. Filtration system in the suit you know. I just had to hose off the armor." Tony gives him a horrible fake laugh.

"Okay, if you're sure you're okay." 

"Couldn't be better," Tony's voice softens to a whisper, "my beloved."

Steve was used to Tony and his nicknames for him. But even Steve could admit this one sounded softer, more endearing than any of the others ever have. But maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part.

"Do you want donuts or muffins in the morning?" Steve casually asks.

"What?" Confusion is written all over Tony's face.

"Motorcycle Monday? Donuts or muffins?" Steve clarifies.

Tony starts backing out of the room. "Um, I forgot to tell you. I have a board meeting first thing in the morning and can't make it. I'll have to take a rain check."

Steve turns back to his locker to grab a shirt, "Well we can do Transmission Tuesday then. Tony?" But it was too late, Tony left the room too quickly.

_ What the hell was that all about? _ was all Steve could think to himself. He's never seen Tony act so bizarre before.

Tony took one last look at the soulmark, turned and ran out of the room as fast as he could. He could feel a slight panic attack rising in his throat. His heart started to physically hurt.

He pushes open the door to the stairway and trips going up the stairs. His breath becomes ragged. Just calling Steve by those words made his heart feel as if it was being ripped from his body. The tears start to spill from his eyes.

But he knew he had to keep this a secret. He couldn't let anyone find out. He knows now that Steve's mark is visible, Steve will have to question why his soulmate saw it and left. But that would be much better than to find out the truth. He could never let Steve see the matching mark on him. He had to make sure of it.


	4. Chapter 4

Natasha swings her leg around and catches Steve in the back of the legs, knocking him down for the third time during their training session.

"You're off your game today, Rogers." Natasha huffs out. "You're distracted. What's going on?"

Steve starts to get up from the floor, "Sorry, Nat. It's Tony. I think he's avoiding me."

"Did you ever have that discussion with him that I suggested?"

"No, that has nothing to do with it. In fact, it was the day we had that conversation. Everything kind of changed since then. He rarely does movie night or breakfast anymore, and he finished up repairing the motorcycle by himself. He didn't even wait for me.

"I keep replaying all our conversations in my mind trying to figure out what I said or did but I can't come up with anything."

"Is there any way he overheard us? Maybe he's been waiting for you to approach him?" Natasha asks.

"No. He was out testing some of the upgrades to the Iron Man suit when the call to help came out. That's how he got to the scene before us."

Natasha sighs, "Well you know what else happened that day."

How did Steve forget? It's the day he first noticed that his soulmark was visible. Every insecurity that he ever had from being a scrawny little kid from Brooklyn to being an out of time soldier in the 21st century had come crashing together. His soulmate had seen his mark and abandoned him.

"I bet that's why Tony's acting weird," Steve said as he hangs his head low. "He must have seen it and realized not even my soulmate would choose me."

"You really don't believe that do you? If anything, he's staying away because he's hurt. You have a soulmark. That means you have a soulmate. How can he compete with that?"

"But I don't even know who my soulmate is." Tears start to well in Steve's eyes. 

"Steve, you said yourself that the only other person in that locker room was Tony. It had to be him. He must be your soulmate."

Steve shakes his head, "Tony would never do that to me. We've gotten so close- he just wouldn't walk away from me."

"If you're sure.” Natasha grabs a water bottle and takes a drink. “All you can do is see if you can get a list of people who were in medical that day. It could at least help you narrow it down."

"So I can do what? Chase down a soulmate who doesn't want me?" Steve bites back.

"There must be a reason," Natasha says frankly.

"It doesn't matter. I'm taking your advice, I'm talking to Tony and I'm telling him how I feel. He needs to know that he is more important than this mark."

“And how are you going to convince him of that? You were very clear on how you would react to having a soulmark. Tony will never believe that you would be willing to give that up for him. You know he’s just as fucking insecure as you are these days.”

Steve’s eyes look downward and he shakes his head, “I don’t know, but I have to try. It's impossible that a soulmate could make me feel the way that Tony does.” 

Steve’s eyes snap back up to look at Natasha as she starts to speak, “Then go get ‘em Tiger.”

“JARVIS, where’s Tony at?”

***

“You missed movie night again last night,” Steve says as he walks into the kitchen. 

Tony is facing away from him pouring a cup of coffee at the counter. Tony’s body stiffens as he hears Steve’s voice. “Oh, hey, Cap. Just grabbing a quick cup. Have to get back to it.”

“Tony,” Steve softens his tone, “Could you turn around and please look at me.”

Tony can feel his heart stop. How can he look Steve in the eye right now? He has done so well over the past six weeks to avoid being near him. Trying to give him a chance to find someone he could make a real connection with. Someone who deserves all the good things that Steve Rogers has to offer.

Breathe, just breathe, Tony says to himself. He takes a deep breath and plasters a fake smile on his face as he turns around. “What can I do for you, Spangles?”

Steve studies Tony’s face, trying to read his expression. He recognizes the fake smile. It’s one he knows is reserved for the press and the paparazzi, but he’s never been on the receiving end himself. The smiles he used to get from Tony always reached into his eyes, which practically glowed as his smile grew bigger. He had to admit, it shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did.

“What happened? Why are you avoiding me?” Steve continues to study Tony’s face.

Breathe, Tony says to himself again. “Don’t know what you're talking about, Cap. I’ve been really busy with upgrades on our equipment. Clint needs new stabilizers for his high velocity arrows, Nat has been telling me about a glitch in one of the algorithms that she uses for tracking, and -”

“Stop, Tony. You don’t need to make up excuses why you are avoiding me. I understand.” Steve starts wringing his hands together.

“You understand what?” Tony heartbeat picks up tenfold. Somehow Steve has figured out that they are soulmates. How is he going to get Steve to understand why he did what he did? 

“That you saw my soulmark.”

Tony sees the look on Steve’s face. Oh my god, he knows, Tony thinks. He is compelled to speak quickly, to offer an apology. “I can explain.”

Steve shakes his head. “You don’t have to. I must seem like a complete loser to have my own soulmate reject me. I can’t blame you for distancing yourself from me.”

Tony is confused. Steve thinks his soulmark is with someone else after all. Was he in the clear?

Tony takes a deep breath, “No, seriously Cap, just been really busy. Besides, I thought you’d want to get to know your soulmate a bit better is all, you know give you two some space.”

Tony hopes that Steve doesn’t recognize that he’s fishing right now, to see if Steve suspects him. But he needs answers. The past few weeks have been pure hell between the guilt and his own heartbreak, not to mention not being able to spend any time with Steve. He was feeling like a part of him had been missing, like he couldn’t take a deep breath anymore without Steve being in the room.

A sad smile crosses Steve’s face, “That’s not necessary. They never revealed themselves to me. They don’t want me.”

“Oh, I’m really sorry Cap.” Tony looks away. A punch to the gut. He sees the pain in Steve’s eyes. The pain he caused. It’s better this way, he thinks. The heartache that Steve feels will be temporary. The alternative, Steve would never be able to walk away from.

Steve attempts to collect himself, to remember why he was here in the first place. He wanted to reassure Tony that his soulmark was secondary to anything he felt for him. To show Tony that it was him all along and he was off to such a bad start. How was he supposed to convince Tony to accept him if he didn’t think himself worthy of Tony?

“It’s okay, I think it's actually for the best.” Steve bobs his head a few times.

“Oh yeah?” Tony's eyes narrow.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” This time it’s Steve’s turn to take a breath. “I think that I might have feelings for someone else.”

Tony didn’t know how to feel. He didn’t think his heart could break any more, but at the same time he felt relief that Steve was moving on, finding the love he should rightfully get. 

“Cap, that’s great. Who needs a soulmate anyway, right?” Tony is sure his trembling voice is giving him away.

Steve’s face lightens for the first time since he entered the kitchen. “I am glad you see it that way.”

“You lost me Cap, what does this have to do with me?” 

“It's you Tony. It’s you I have feelings for.” Steve’s tone is hopeful.

Another punch to the gut. Fuck. It was one thing to be anonymous in his role of this scenario, but to have to be the one to pull the trigger. To see the hurt and pain in Steve’ face and now have it directly tied to him. Tony was sure this would kill him.

“Did you hear me, Tony?”

“What? Yeah. I, uh-” Tony stutters.

Steve steps into Tony’s space and places his hand on Tony’s arm, looking him in the face. “Look, I know this is out of the blue and you might not have even considered being with me. And then with the whole soulmate thing-”

Steve keeps his hand on Tony, but moves his thumb up and down on Tony’s arm soothingly. “I’m just asking you to consider it. I just want to see if we can be more than friends Tony. I think I could fall in love with you and I think you might feel the same about me.”

Steve was hoping that Natasha was right. That Tony did feel something for him. 

“I’m really flattered Cap, but,” Tony can’t look at Steve, “Don’t you think that you are reading all this wrong? You are letting this thing with your soulmate affect your thinking. Making more out of this than there is.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, I’ve felt this way for a long time Tony. It just took all of this to make me realize I needed to tell you."

Tony shakes his head, “I don’t-”

Steve interrupts, “Please just think about it Tony.”

Steve leans over and puts a gentlemanly kiss on Tony's cheek and pulls his hand back across Tony's hand. Tony stands dumbfounded as he watches Steve leave the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you ever going to tell him?" Natasha stands with her arms crossed in the doorway to Tony's lab.

Tony looks up from the project he is working on to glance at Natasha. "Natasha my dear, to what do I owe the pleasure? If I'm not mistaken, I've never had this pleasure before."

"Cut the crap, Stark. I know it's your soulmark."

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Natasha lets out a huff, “Really? So someone snuck into the locker room while Steve was in the shower. Saw the soulmark and snuck back out while you were on your way in. That’s very impressive.”

"Let it go, Natasha," Tony grits out.

"I will not. You think you get to play god and decide this for him? You’re taking his choice away."

"I already know what he would do. The idiot would sacrifice himself and for what? For me? I’m not worth that and I won't let him do it. He's already lost so much during this lifetime, I'm not going to let him lose himself too."

"So what you're doing here, with all this, is better? I have never seen two people who claim that they are so unworthy of love and yet want to sacrifice so much for the other's happiness. Isn't that what true love is?" Natasha pleads.

"I can't do it to him."

"You can't do it to him, or you can't do it to yourself?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" 

Natasha gets a sly look, "Well if you let him in, and I mean truly let him in, you'll have nowhere to hide anymore. He'll see all your cracks, all your imperfections. And that will just lead to disappointment, right?"

"Well since you’ve seen all my cracks, wouldn't you be disappointed? Wait, I already know the answer to that, you wrote a whole report about it. Something about how I don't play well with others," Tony gives a mocking response.

"Well I was on the outside looking in at the time. Steve's already been on the inside, and I hate to break it to you Stark, but your cracks aren't all that well hidden. And he fell for you anyway,” Natasha’s face softens, “And besides you're not the man you used to be.

"You keep talking about what he deserves. Well he deserves for you to respect him enough to tell the truth and open up to him. And you deserve to get the love he is so willing to give you. Don't you see? Apart you are incomplete, missing the best parts of each other. But once you come together, the puzzle is complete. It's perfect. And don't both of you deserve that?"

Tony has no answer for that. It’s never crossed his mind that happiness could be so simple. 

"And what if he hates me for walking away from him? For causing him such heartbreak?" Tony asks.

"Simple. You keep loving him until he doesn't."

***

Tony paces the floor for what seems like hours. He wants to believe what Natasha said to him but he has disappointed so many people in his past, he doesn't want to disappoint Steve too.

The more Tony thinks about the reasons he shouldn't tell Steve about the mark, the more he realizes there would be only one reason to tell the truth. And that would be because it would make them both happy and that seems like such a selfish reason to Tony. There are too many scenarios in which it didn't work. And only one where it did. 

But if it did - Tony tries not to let himself get excited - if it did work, it would be the most amazing thing that could happen to either one of them.

And maybe that was worth a try.

"J, is Captain Rogers in the tower?"

"Yes sir. Captain Rogers is currently in the gym."

"Perfect. Wish me luck J."

"Might I suggest sir, if you are going to be leaving the lab you might want to change your clothes first. Those still have a slight odor from your sulfur experiment."

Tony looks down at his shirt and brings it up to his nose, "Good point."

Tony quickly goes into the bathroom and takes off his dirty clothes. He pulls on a fresh pair of pants that are hanging on the back of the bathroom door and runs a damp washcloth over his torso and heads back to the other room to find a clean shirt.

***

Steve hits the punching bag as hard as he can. It doesn't seem to be lessening his anxiety in the slightest. He knows he should give Tony some room to think about what he said but it’s already been a week and he hasn't heard a word from Tony.

He doesn't want Tony to make a rush decision. He knows it was a lot to ask for Tony to get involved with him, especially knowing that he has a soulmate out there. But he also knows that his heart might burst if he had to wait another minute.

Steve abruptly turns and leaves the gym, making his way down to Tony's lab. They need to talk about this and the sooner the better as far as Steve is concerned.

He approaches the glass doors to Tony's lab and can see Tony standing inside, going through a pile of shirts. He’s just about to knock when Tony changes his position and he sees Tony’s shoulder.

His shoulder begins to glow in a light red haze. It is almost as if a swirl of clouds is forming over his back. The clouds begin to narrow into a thin strip to form a word. When the haze clears, Steve can see clearly the words, my beloved, written across Tony's shoulder.

Steve stops dead in his tracks. As quickly as the image appears on Tony's shoulder, it disappears when Tony pulls a clean shirt over his back, shaking Steve from his dreamlike state.

_ It’s Tony's mark _ , he thinks.  _ It was Tony all along. He’s the one that doesn't want me.  _

Steve's chest tightens up. He hasn't been unable to breathe like this since he was a kid with asthma. It feels like a truck parked on his chest, making every breath a struggle.

He runs back up the stairs that lead him to the communal living room. He runs through the living room trying to get to the elevator to go to his bedroom and runs square into Natasha.

"Whoa, Steve. What's the matter?" Natasha grabs Steve.

Steve makes a futile attempt to get away from her and pushes the elevator button. "I have to go."

"What are you talking about? Go where?"

Steve's eyes are glazed, wet with tears, "I saw it. I saw Tony soulmark. It's been him this whole time. He doesn't want to be with me. He never told me."

"What did he say when you talked to him about it?" Natasha asks.

Steve is horrified, "I don't need to talk to him. He's already made his feelings perfectly clear."

"I swear you two self sacrificing idiots are going to be the death of me." Natasha pulls Steve down onto the couch and holds his hands. "Did you ever think why Tony didn't tell you the truth about the soulmark?"

"I'm not good enough for him, what else could it be?"

"You're right. That's exactly what self-loathing, self-doubting, Tony Stark would say. The man that has made him become the best version of himself isn't good enough for him."

"What are you talking about, the best version of himself? "

"Open your eyes. Tony describes himself as an alcoholic. But since you've been here I haven't seen him take more than one drink at a time. And anyone that knows Tony would describe him as a workaholic. But the closer you two have gotten the more structured his day is and the less he lets himself get sucked up into work.

"Don't you see it, Steve?  _ You _ are his port. His port in the storm. He didn't push you away because he doesn't want you. He pushed you away because he thought you deserved better."

"She's right you know." Natasha and Steve turn to see Tony on the other side of the room.

"I think it's time you two talked it out," Natasha rises from the couch and walks over to the elevator. "Good luck," she says as she gets on the elevator.

Steve gets her a small nod, "Thanks Nat."

Tony points over to where Natasha exited the room. "She is too smart for her own good."

"But she can't be right, Tony. How could I do better than you?"

"Uh, we've met, right?” Tony makes a gesture between him and Steve. "You had me pegged from day one. I'm just a man in a suit."

"Oh, Tony, I thought you forgave me for that."

"Can't forgive a man who's telling the truth."

Steve stands to face Tony, "For a genius, you're not very smart."

"I seem to get that a lot these days."

"I wish you could see yourself the way I do. When I got out of the ice, I was lost. I didn't know where I was headed. That's why I took that road trip after the Battle of New York. I was searching for something and I didn't know what it was until I came back here and spent time with you. 

"You see, I was literally trying to find myself and I failed. Until I came back to you. You were the part I was missing. And this all happened before we knew about the soulmark.

"You have given me a home and a family. Two things that I've been without for most of my life. When I'm here with you it's perfect. When I saw you just now and saw your soulmark reveal itself, I was on my way to tell you that I didn't care about the soulmark, that I only cared about you. To tell you if my soulmate showed up tomorrow, I would still choose you. It's always been you."

Tony takes a step closer to Steve, "I saw you run away from the lab. I was just getting ready to come find you and show you our mark. Jarvis said you were in the gym."

Steve nods. "I just needed to be near you. It was like you were calling me to you."

"I think I was. I've been doing nothing but thinking of you for the past few hours. When you have a hard head like I do, the heart has a real difficult time breaking through the layers of stubbornness," Tony knocks himself on the head with his knuckles, "genius you know.

"But, uh, looks like this time Tony Stark's brain lost," Tony takes another step forward and reaches out for Steve's hand. "Everything Natasha has said is true. Since you've been in my life, I'm balanced. I'm not constantly searching for things to fill the blank spaces in me. They're all filled. You make me whole."

"When I thought you didn't want me, I literally forgot how to breathe. That's what you do to me Tony Stark. I can't do a simple thing like take a breath without you." Steve raises his hand to stroke Tony's cheek and lowers his eyes to look at Tony's lips.

Tony leans in and meets Steve halfway. As soon as their lips meet, a serenity encapsulates them. The rest of the world fades into the background. Tony feels as if they have melded into one being, both mentally and physically.

Every point of contact is intensified with feeling. Their minds scramble trying to keep up with all the stimulus, as their hands run gently but aimlessly over each other.

When they break from the kiss, desperately panting for air, Tony asks Steve, "Did you feel it?"

"It was amazing."

'I could actually feel our souls coming back together." Tony says, searching Steve's eyes.

"I love you, Tony Stark."

"I love you, too, Steve Rogers." Tony leans in to capture Steve's lips once more.

Steve pulls back and smiles," Let's go, my beloved. We need to find out how deep this bond goes."

Tony finds himself being dragged off to the bedroom, feeling truly content for the first time in his life. When he realizes that happiness is that simple - you just need to open the door and let it in.


End file.
